I'm kind of scared. See my son has ocular albinism with nystagmus which affects his eyes sight. He is legally blind but not totally. The other day he told us that he is seeing black spots. This makes me afraid that he won't be able to see at all one day. He is 9 years old and I am not sure he even understands that this could happen to him. He is so oblivious to what is happening. I, as his father, can do nothing to stop that. I feel helpless and afraid.
We as children look to grownups and think they have everything figured out. In fact one time there was a storm with a tornado warning going off and I was standing at the door watching the storm while my family huddled in the closet waiting it out. My wife was telling me I needed to get in the closet and my son said yea dad because if something happens to you you are the only one that can do anything. I know what he meant and I didn't correct him but I know he meant that he trust in me completely and that if something happen to me that they wouldn't be safe any longer. This makes me cry because I know as most of you know that adults we don't know anything. We don't have the power to keep others safe but our kids don't know that. They trust us.
We like to think because Jesus was God that he knew everything and that he was never afraid of anything. The truth is that Jesus was a man like you and me. He had the Divine Spirit but this didn't grant him any special ability; the scripture says that he grew in stature with God and man. Meaning that there was a time that Jesus was ignorant of even the scriptures he as God inspired.
Fear comes from loss of control. I am afraid because I have no control over what will happen to my son. It makes me wonder if Jesus was ever afraid. I imagine at some point he was. Fear is an emotion that helps us survive. It motivates us to act. Jesus seemed to be afraid in the garden before his crucifixion. The scripture records that he sweated large drops of blood which is describing a medical condition of a person under great stress. Jesus was undergoing a massive loss of control he knew what was about to happen and yet other than sweating blood he showed no fear. How can Jesus have faced his death without any advantage and show no fear was he afraid? His body was sure reacting to what he knew even if Jesus was not himself. He trusted in what he had read about himself in scripture. Jesus knew his mission and that the messiah would be killed for the sins of the world. He knew the scriptures said that he would die and rise again in 3 days.
I have to trust in the sovereignty of God. It's not easy. My son doesn't understand yet that I couldn't keep him safe from a tornado even if I wanted to and he trust me completely. So he doesn't fear the tornado or going blind because he knows that as long as dad is beside him he is going to be alright. This is the secret no matter what befalls us or what situation we find ourselves in we must keep close to God. Through prayer and reading of scripture and if we do that no matter what happens it will be God's will and when we are in God's will even if it seems bad it's the best situation we can be in.
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