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Elisa Neidigh

Are you finding love in the wrong places?

Updated: May 3, 2022

By Elisa Neidigh What does it mean to love someone? What does it mean to accept love?



1 John 4:15-17 “If anyone confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. And we have come to know and believe the love that God has for us. God is Love; whoever abides in love abides in God, and God in him. In this way, love has been perfected among us, so that we may have confidence on the day of judgment; for in this world, we are just like Him.”



God tells us that he is our example of what love should be. We all are in search for love and many of us have searched for love in places that are not healthy. If you have been like me, you may have forced love in strange ways and places.

When we force love in the wrong ways, this can cause us damage and affect others. I know this all too well as this is my story. I am sure many can relate to wanting to find love. I was so on fire for God as a child and I wanted to be involved as much as I could. I begged my parents to send me to church school, I begged to be baptized, I begged to be part of pathfinders and sing up front in church. It was during those times of my life I knew that God loved me, and I was confident with who I was. As I grew older into my teen years that is when my life began to confront me with various challenges. I questioned the very love I once knew, and I asked myself was this love even real? During this time, my family faced some hardships that turned my world upside down and sadly I became angry with God. Yes, I would go to church on occasion but at the same time afterwards I would be out partying and living in the world. As I grew to hate the very things I once begged for, I discovered that my anger only increased. The world was changing my values and influencing me to be a different person who was mean, cold, and hard. My idea of protection was to build walls around my heart by prohibiting anyone in so I could not hurt again. Unfortunately, that approach I took allowed more people in my life to hurt me in ways I never imagined and made me hate the world I was in.



It wasn't until I had kids that made me realize there is no love without God’s presence. As I fought over that idea and was still very angry with so many, I was tired of living a life of struggle. It was at that moment, that I lost my fight which became the moment I finally gained the victory! Without knowing, God was finally able to show me that all the running away I did was only from selfish motive. Yes, I was hurting but there was a better way of healing the pain then the easy way of blaming someone else. During this time, I allowed God to come in and he showed me the answers I couldn’t understand for many years. God showed me His love because His word says, “For God is Love.”



As I came back to the church and studied more about what true love constitutes, I found myself finding a pure love in someone else. While I have learned a lot, I continue to struggle with this though I thank God because my understanding and faith is much stronger. As I learned more of His love, I became intentional in seeking love in a different way that allows my walk with God to grow inside me but also outwardly so others can see a light that they also desire. When they ask about that love, I say that light you seek for is God!



God doesn’t seek to destroy you; he allows trials to happen to help you grow and remind you to keep your eyes on him so that he can fight for you. So many times, we focus on the problem instead allowing the solution to come out. As the saying goes, “You need to look at the big picture and stop focusing on this little problem.” Another example is the Footprints poem, when we think we are alone at our darkest moments, but God is always there. As in 1 John 4:19 “We love because he first loved us.”



As you start today or finish your day remember this if you are looking for love stop! Yes, I said stop because you’re likely looking in wrong places or forcing something that doesn’t work. Go find a bible. Start to read these books Ephesians, 1 Corinthians, 1 John and read what love is. After you search the scriptures, allow God to come in and change your old desires of finding any form of love to discovering his love He has for you.

My Prayer for you all is to find God’s love, build a prayer walk daily with God so he can be the foundation in your life and in all relationships, you have with friends, family, and spouses.


My name is Elisa Neidigh, I am a cofounder of Journey Unspoken and many of us have different testimonies that lead us to God. As you listen to our stories we hope that you will share yours as well. When we are patient and allow God to work within, we will see Gods hand come through. Remember this is your walk, not anyone else’s so you need to take the time to build your relationship with God daily. God Bless!








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